Exhaustion

I'm tired, I'm tired from being at school six hours a day. I'm tired of seeing his face all the time. I'm tired of the world, it's basically so boring. I realize that when I'm say that "I'm tired," I'm just saying that I'm tired of this world. I'll sigh from time to time, just waiting for something to happen and amuse me. Or rather, make me laugh. I'm always doing the same thing, at the moment I want change. Something new, exciting, or a new change in history. All I want is a exciting, thrilling life. Maybe a romance, a fun day at school, Sunday practice, something, just something. Today was weird, and sad. The Spartan Mile was scheduled for today, and it was raining so no one wanted to run. Nothing was "thrilling" at all, maybe someone new I actually talked today, and acknowledged my existence again. I felt weird today because that one dude, who I used to hate bugged me in my mind. I always thought to myself, I hate him, I hate him, and I really I hate purple. And today I wanted change and so, I decided to get over it and start over. And so I did, and it felt weird, just being around my thoughts, I had butterflies in my stomach, which I hate. Rain makes people so emotional, I'm staring outside the window, and I see darkness. I always wondered to myself, if the rain was God's tears. I asked my mom, and she always said "nonsense."

Anyways change, I want change in my life. Anything, an arranged marriage when I'm older, or a new dog, a new brother, or rather moving away to another state, school, and making new friends. Anything right now. I kind of want to move away from this place, I've been living in this town or city, my whole life. I may be comfortable, but I want to get our of my comfort zone. Venture out into the unfriendly, and relive my so far thirteen year old life. I may dream big, but one day, I know it, I'll have the greatest change, with my one wish. I promised myself, and wish for the day that I say sorry to him, in person, for I have not said a word to him in exactly one year, this month. Before we depart to different high schools, that is my last wish, chance, and task. After that, off to another place, I hope, for change, and a new life, just me starting over, and hopefully have a new love. It'll be a big stepping stone for me, at least in my point of view. And for others, they'll look at me and think that change is coming.

I'll write soon, Blogspot, soon enough. I was just aching to write out and express my inner thoughts. LAATE.