Neglected

I feel annoying, I feel boring, I feel clingy, I feel horrible. I feel bad, I feel pissed, I feel excited, I feel miserable, I feel snotty, I feel bitchy, I feel lonely, I feel loved, I feel depressed, I feel stressed, I feel anxious, I feel happy, I feel like I want to punch someone. I feel that I'm always second/third best at everything.
Sometimes I feel that I'm too emotional, that I'm too sensitive, it gets annoying. Doesn't it? Selfpity all the time, people just shaking their head thinking, "No, don't be sensitive, don't be emotional." They don't want to deal with a 14 year old girl , still crying about idiotic things. All the stupid words that she say, make an impression. Every word, gets etched into memories of listeners, bypassers, eavesdroppers. What she does, she does not realize. She realizes she does so many wrong things. But she, she cannot stop. Once she's out of her shell, she's not going back. To contain herself again, lose her friends; torture. She'd kick, she'd scream, she'd beg for the new her back, back to the old new ways.

This girl. All she wants is to be acknowledged, have real friends, not to be replaced. She wants loyalty, she was honesty, she wants the truth. She wants to me normal, joke around with her true and real friends. She wants to be able to say stuff that's considered mean to other girls. But to her friends, she has wicked sense of humor. She just wants to be loved what more could you ask for? To be loved.

Sometimes, I wish someone would read this. Sometimes I wish no one would. Let's take a chance.